Yes, You Are Better Than Everyone Else — Dear air fryer owner, I’m sorry, but you are, in fact, better than everyone else. People like to hate on you and call you annoying for talking about your air fryer too much. They are bothered that everyone and their mother got an air fryer for Christmas, except for them. …

Always striving to give my golden retriever a better life one story at a time. Like every clichéd dating bio you have ever read, I don’t really know what to write on one of these things. Luckily though, my chronic singleness has educated me on all the cliché items you…

Besides the 20-Minute Musical — It’s been years since Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life premiered and there are still so many things about the revival that still drive me crazy. I know I should let it go. It’s just a TV show. But I’ve never been one to let things go. Just ask…

I’m sorry I’m the wrong child calling. — I called again to see how the cancer is doing. But I could hear it in your voice — you wish I was someone else. You wish I was my sibling calling. And I’m sorry. I wish I could make it all better and tell you everything will be alright. …

Do I have to go on a real date to find you? — Dear Soulmate, I think you’ve been using Mapquest because you seem lost. I’ve been listening to the TikTok Mediums and they told me all I had to was watch their video 3 times, like all their videos, follow them, donate a kidney, and then I would meet you within 24…

Because sometimes you need to turn the volume up. — My best friend loves to talk. Which works out great because I don’t. But one night while grabbing drinks together, a guy sitting next to us stopped at our table and said something to me I’ll never forget. “You’re a really good listener. …

Besides the cauliflower gnocchi — Trader Joe’s. The one grocery store where you don’t enter with a shopping list. You just listen to the Trader Joe’s spirit guides as you throw everything but the bagel seasoning into your cart. It’s everything that gives us any serotonin anymore — 90s nostalgia and $4 wine. People may…

Because sometimes money can buy happiness. — Does anyone else have those days when they look in the mirror and just see a haunting Shrek-like figure covered in Oreo crumbs? And you think, why am I so ugly? Well, if you answered yes to any of the above, then I might have some good news for you…you…

#1 Not a Coffee Shop — Some of the greatest novels have been written in some rather unusual places. Oscar Wilde wrote De Profundis while imprisoned for sodomy. Edith Sitwell took it to the next level and was rumored to lie in a coffin before starting her writing sessions. But if prison or coffins aren’t really…